It’s ok to not be ok…

Today I feel sad…

Why? For me (as for us all…) there are a million reasons… but let’s use the above picture as an example of a “sad” day!!!

Three months ago…. I had a 4 week old baby… a horrendously behaved toddler, who was NOT taking well to there being a new baby in the house! My husband had just worked a week of night shift (leaving him terribly tired and me to attempt the night-time routine with newborn and said horrendous tornado toddler alone!)… I had mastitis… and then, to top it off…

I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS… yes I was holding the baby, no she was not harmed and in fact remained asleep throughout the whole ordeal. I fractured my foot in three places, and was in a boot and pretty much confined to the house (with newborn and horrendous tornado toddler) for 7 weeks!

I was really freakin sad! I seriously felt I wasn’t coping… I wanted to scream and cry and run away to a magical place where I could lay in the sun and drink cocktails, or maybe just sleep, all at the same time!!!

UGH ! Other ‘unspoken’ states of feeling for me include;

Today I feel helpless…

• I feel helpless because terrible things happen to people I love… and I can’t fix it… I feel their pain. I want to make it better… and I can’t. The world just isn’t fair….

Today I feel angry…

• the tornado toddler has NOT STOPPED SCREAMING!
• * insert a million other things the tornado toddler does throughout the day that seriously make me loose my SHIIIIIIT!!! 

Today I feel like a failure…

• I yelled at said tornado toddler 
• The house actually looks like it’s been ransacked in a robbery! 
• I didn’t exercise 
• I ate 3 blocks of chocolate! 

We all have these days right? 

And when we do… I don’t know about you… but I know I judge myself pretty negatively for these moments of “weakness”. I hide them from the world… these unspoken negative emotions… But are they really moments of weakness? Should they really remain unspoken? Or are days like this actually an essential part of the human experience?

If you asked most people what a ‘psychologically healthy’ person looks like, I think most people would have an image of a person who seems to ‘have it all together’, is happy, stable, and doesn’t struggle with things like “I” do! When in fact…. humans were made to feel a full range of feelings/emotions in response to the many challenges we face in our environments. We were made not only to feel joy, we were also made to struggle. Actually the most psychologically healthy people among us are the ones ‘feeling’ and experiencing emotions as they were meant to be felt! Yep… that’s right… they are the ones crying when things are sad, getting angry when something makes them mad, feeling like failures when life gets too much! These are psychologically healthy people …! There is an added essential ingredient however…. a lack of negative judgement attached to these ‘feelings’. Psychologically healthy people are the ones allowing themselves to feel – without the added negative judgement of “I’m weak”, “I’m hopeless”, “I’m a terrible mother”… etc etc etc 

Taking away this judgement we place upon ourselves, this fear of being judged negatively by others for voicing our struggles, gives us the ability to open ourselves up and share the human experience. It allows us to reach out to our supports for just that… support! 

Once supported… we can then offer support – And as supporters… our job is just to listen… that’s all. We don’t need to ‘fix’ the problem… just listen. Allow the brave soul who is admitting that even though they are superman/superwoman… they too are struggling… to be heard. 

Ask “are you ok?”

Answer – honestly…

Communication holds great power… the power to make us feel ‘normal’ – as we discuss our own struggles and we encourage others to discuss theirs… we realise we are not alone. 

Talk about your struggles…

Celebrate your joys….

Feel sad today… acknowledge that you feel sad and let it be… talk, write, sing, draw (lock yourself in the bathroom and scream/cry!) – communicate and express your feelings however is right for you – then tomorrow – strive to be happy. 

Talk about your struggles…

Celebrate your joys….

These musings for me are a part of my new found ‘ok-ness’ with sharing my struggles, being vulnerable, asking for help…

And still being DAMN fabulous!!! My hope is that my sharing empowers others to speak openly and without judgement about their own struggles – that this allows the struggles to seem ‘lighter’, more manageable… and therefore leaves more room to enjoy the days that are pretty well perfect… you know… those days when the sun shines, the children behave, the magical cleaning fairy cleans your house, and in your cupboard you find a block of chocolate and a bottle of wine that NEVER RUN OUT!!! 🤣💜

Ha!! 

Let this post inspire you to ask others about their mental health… and share with others tales of your own mental health – we are stronger together 💪🏼

To end with a quote from a poem that is close to my heart; 

“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.”

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata